Dear Friend,

So here's what I've been thinking about as I've been hiking the hills...

LIGHTS, REACTION, CAMERA!  For no special reason something floated to the top of my memory bank, a recollection of a phrase I heard over and over as I was a student in the Drama Department at BYU: "Acting is not so much acting as reacting!"   I hear this phrase in the voice of Dr. Harold Hansen reminding me, as I was playing Joan of Arc in Anouilh's The Lark, to really listen to the lines of the other actors, to really listen as Bishop Cauchon says, "You are an impudent girl, and I now become angry with you.  You should be on your knees to the Church!"  Then, having really listened, I can reply with meaning, "Missire, deep in your heart do you believe that our Lord wishes me to submit to the judgment?"

To react is a great principle on the stage.  But not offstage, not in real life.  At least not in the way I've been pondering as I framed a New Year's commitment to myself.  I don't want to let reaction be my major way of responding to life, to the people in my life, to the stuff that happens to me.

And this thought reminds me of something else I learned at BYU, from another fine professor, Dr. Reed Bradford head of the Sociology Department.  I've paraphrased this story for my children and grandchildren, but I wanted to see if I could possibly find the original, and in thirty seconds (don't you just love Google?) I did.  It is attributed to Sidney Harris:

I walked with my friend, a Quaker, to the newsstand the other night, and he bought a paper, thanking the newsie politely. The newsie didn't even acknowledge it.

 "A sullen fellow, isn't he?" I commented.

"Oh, he's that way every night," shrugged my friend.

"Then why do you continue to be so polite to him?" I asked.

"Why not?" inquired my friend. "Why should I let him decide how I'm going to act?"  

I wish I could tell you I've long mastered that.  I have not.  Way too often something goes wrong or someone I care deeply about does something that hurts themselves or hurts me, and I lose my center.  I don't come from a place of carefully chosen action.  I come from a place of reaction.  I know you don't need any examples from my days.  You've got plenty from your own.

I ought to repeat to myself every morning before I get out of bed: "Today I will let no one or no thing decide how I am going to act."

"Act--don't react."  Maybe like Joan of Arc actually did when she refused to react to threat after threat and impossibility after impossibility, and instead--as an agent of her own determination--picked up her sword and acted.  And changed history.

RECOMMENDED FILM: Last night I watched "I Am," a documentary made by former funny man Tom Shadyac. It is a really splendid and inspiring story of who we really are, showing that we're wired for cooperation and compassion, and that science is proving beyond doubt how connected we are to each other and to every living thing.  Ever since the '70s when my husband Gerald discovered meditation and Kirlean photography, I have been fascinated by observable spirituality.  Here we are in 2012.  End of the world?  Or the great transformation?  I vote for the latter.  See more about the film at http://iamthedoc.com/.  

NO MORE GOODBYES CONTINUES TO BLESS LIVES.  Months ago I received a Facebook message from a visiting teacher who told me of a young girl who was in the hospital after a suicide attempt, "with her stomach pumped and her arms and legs tethered."  Her mother, feeling she was obeying her church leaders, kicked the girl out of the house for being gay.  I asked this visiting teacher if she might be able to get a copy of No More Goodbyes to the girl if I sent one.  She said yes.  Recently I got this note from the girl herself:

Hi Carol Lynn, [my mom's visiting teacher] gave me a signed copy of your book 'no more goodbyes' and it saved my life! I attempted suicide and planned to try again when I left the hospital, but she gave me your book and it changed everything! Thank you! You are an angel of god, truly! It's as if you shone a light and held out a hand for my soul to find the path again, as if you breathed air into my lungs, shocked my heart back to life, injected hope in my veins. I still struggle with my homosexuality with my family but me and god are ok with each other:)...I can not say thank you enough, I wish I could give you a big hug. I L<3VE you!

 

BUY FIVE COPIES OF NO MORE GOODBYES: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones and get two more copies free.  http://www.clpearson.com/personal_gifts.htm

AND ON THE SAME SUBJECT, THREE FORMER BYU PROFESSORS SPEAKING IN PROVO.  This Thursday, February 2nd at 7 pm at the Provo Library, Rm #309, Dr. Bill Bradshaw, Kendall Wilcox and David Knowlton will be speaking on the topic of homosexuality within the LDS community. "Our goal is to fill the room with people who are looking for answers -- in other words, we don't just want it to be an echo chamber. The atmosphere will be one of Q&A and information."

AND WOW--VALENTINE'S DAY IS ALMOST HERE!  FREE COPY OF LOVE POEMS WITH ORDERS OF $30 THROUGH FEB. 4^TH.  How about treating your honey to  In Love Again and Always, or another of the many fine (or funny) offerings at http://www.clpearson.com/personal_gifts.htm

I want to fill my days

With filling you.

I am acres of wheat.

Let me harvest, mill

Mix, rise, bake, spread

With honey and serve you

Breakfast in bed.

May January have opened a door to a great year for us all.  And may 2012 just get better and better!

"When you live in reaction, you give your power away. Then you get to experience what you gave your power to."
      ~ N. Smith