Figuring out your
gift-giving budget, I'm sure. Here's a reminder of
the Best Gift of All, which costs nothing. My
daughter Emily had a great Thanksgiving blog, and I
asked her if I could share it. Here it is...
THOSE THREE LITTLE
The other day I was at Cassie's house as she was
leaving for work. She was walking out the door and
called to me, "Bye, Em, love you!" Without skipping
a beat I called right back, "Bye Honey. I love you,
And then I stopped and just stood there, feeling how
amazing that felt. Three little words. I Love You.
Amazing to hear. Amazing to say. Like warm honey. Or
Sunshine. Or Magic.
I was born with those words just kind of naturally
dripping out of my mouth. My entire life, it seems,
I have felt love so deeply it hurts. And if I love,
I express it. Always have, always will. If I love
someone, it just makes no freaking sense to keep it
a secret. If someone is incredible and lovable why
the hell would I NOT tell them?
I'm not talking about love of the romantic variety.
Telling someone you love them THAT way must done in
the right time and in the right way. I'm not talking
kind of love. I'm talking about the
kind of love.
I look around me and I see a world that is just so
screwed up when it comes to love. We are so afraid
of it. We misuse it. We use it as a weapon to hurt
or manipulate. We withhold it -- carefully measuring
out only just enough. We only give it if we are
certain to have it returned -- or only give the
exact amount we expect we will be given.
It stuns me how many friends I have that I love
dearly, and I know they love me, but when I say, "I
love you," they stutter and stammer and get flushed
and skip right over it and change the subject. It
makes me sad. Not because they don't say it back, I
know they love me. I don't say it to manipulate them
into saying it. I don't say it because I want me to
hear it, I say it because I want them to hear it. I
want them to know it. They deserve to know they are
amazing and incredible and thoroughly lovable. We
Here is my Thanksgiving challenge to you. If you are
a person who has a hard time saying "I love you,"
SAY IT. This week is a week for being grateful. We
all have people in our lives that we are grateful
for. TELL THEM. If you are a person who has a hard
time hearing "I Love You," GET THE HELL OVER IT.
Seriously. Hear it, take it in and say it back.
Don't question it, ignore it, gloss over it or
dismiss it. Give it generously and receive it
Love is delicious. Love is life giving. Love is not
to be hoarded or stored up for some distant future.
There is an endless supply with more than enough to
go around. Love is everywhere -- in ridiculous
amounts. Love is to be felt and bathed in and
celebrated. Pour it on, soak it up, drink it down,
roll in it, sing it, breathe it, dream it, live it.
It will change everything. I promise.
Which reminds me of a poem I wrote long ago:
We feed one another
Serve affection measured to
The minimum daily requirement,
The very acceptable least--
While love bursts the
Of our larder,
Why we are afraid
(From Beginnings and
AUTOGRAPHED BOOKS TO HELP YOUR CHRISTMAS GIVING!
At least half your list would love the new In Dog
Years I'm Dead, jokes and quips about growing
older ("Then you were hoping for a BMW--Now you're
hoping for a BM.") Several Christmas classics. Free
copy of No More Goodbyes with every order
over $30 through December 6th.
NO MORE GOODBYES
CONTINUES TO BLESS GAY PEOPLE AND THEIR FAMILIES.
As awareness continues to rise about the inexcusable
bullying young gay people are subjected to daily,
which sometimes results in suicide, let's all commit
to assuring those in our circle of influence that
their lives matter, that in spite of hard times now,
with the dedication of all of us, It Gets Better!
See a terrific short video from Broadway, one of the
huge number available from that project, at
I'm thrilled to be a
part of all this with my book No More Goodbyes:
Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones.
Almost daily I get emails telling me how it has
helped someone decide not to give up. Here's a
short excerpt from a recent one:
irrational about committing suicide. I thought
through every possible alternative that I could
think of. Luckily, during those few days before my
birthday I started chatting with a guy in Salt Lake
who had gone through his struggle with being Mormon
and gay and he had some words that were new to me.
He suggested, no, pleaded with me that I read
your book No More Goodbyes. I immediately
went to the bookstore to buy it. I devoured that
book. It literally saved my life. I was so close to
If you or someone
you know needs this kind of encouragement, please
CLP TRIVIA FILES:
On Thanksgiving morning I got up, lit the fire, and
finished reading The Help, by Kathryn
Stockett. Great book--the story of "colored maids"
of white women in the early '60s. So grateful that
we have made such huge progress on racial issues in
fifty years. So hopeful we can do the same for all
those we see as "the other"--Christian, Jewish,
Muslim--and certainly our gay brothers and sisters.
May your December be
warm in every way! And let us remember, with all
our gift giving--
That love is all
Is all we know of love.
Merry Christmas and
love from your friend,